Hearing the Holy Spirit

When I got asked to give a talk on listening to the Holy Spirit, my first thought was "Oh, great". People sem to think that there should be some sort of a manual, some sort of a self help book, that teaches you a fool proof way to hear and understand what the Holy Spirit is saying. As if listening to the voice of God is little more than a step by step process that works for all people in all circumstances. As if it's just like changing a tire or putting together furniture from Ikea- so long as you follow these simple steps, you will get the desired result.

But the Holy Spirit is not a bedside table. The Holy Spirit is God, who created the universe! And if the univerese is not simple (and it's not!) than it is silly to think that it's creator would be simple!

Whenever you think in terms of relating to God, rmember that God is a person. Have you ever had someone relate to you as though you were merely a psychological case study? Like if they say the right thing at the right time, validate all your concerns, and try to understand your hidden childhood and how that may play into why you are the way that you are, they could basically reduce you to a formula and predict (and thus control) your behaviour. Who has had this experience? How did it make you feel?

Just as we need to have humility before each other and recognize that as persons we are unpredictable and not reducible to a formula, so we muist have that same humility before God. That is the first step. There is no formula, no equation- it is a relationship, and thus a matter of humility and love.

So, how do you know what God is saying to you? Basically, I'm going to relate to you my own experience in hearing God.

Throughout High School, when I first made a personal commitment to Jesus, I never really heard God, and I didn't think too much about it. I was a Christian, trying to live a Christian life, and I prayed- but my prayer time was kinda like a study time. I would read inspirational literature, or the Bible, and try to understand Christianity better. I loved god, but more specifically, I loved the things of God.

Who here has ever had a God High after a retreat? When I was in grade twelve, I was pretty much on a permanent God High, because I was always going on retreats or to youth group or doing something "holy."

After High School I went to John Paul II Bible School. There I realized that even when I read the Bible, I was reading it for the worng reasons. I was reading it to learn and to argue with people who dissagreed with Catholocism, which is OK, but the point of prayer is so that You get to know the author of the Bible- once again, a person.

I learned in Bible School that God has a plan for every individual. My mom had told me growing up that God had a calling for each person, and that only by obeying that calling would I be truly happy. So armed with this knowledge, I asked a scary question- what is Gods plan for me? How many people here have ever asked themselves that question? I prayed about it, and didn't really get an answer.

But I decided this. No matter what God wanted me to do, I would do it. I had a friend who used to say "I would throw rocks at a tree in Zibabwe if that's what God had called me to." This is what you need to do. God does not tell you the whole plan ahead of time. He does not seek your aproval. Part of Gods plan is to teach you to trust Him.

I recently got engaged. For the proposal I had planned this whole elaborate day, which started early in the morning. The day before I proposed, I told my fiance that I would pick her up at 8:00am. But she was tired. She had no idea what was planned for the next day, so she said "Can't we just sleep in tomorrow?"

I was like "no."

I could not think of any good reason. She kinda figured something must be up, so she consented to let me get her up early in the morning.

I remember think that this is what it is like for God. He has this elaborate plan for us- but he doesn't want to tell us the whole thing, because that would ruin it. We stress about not knowing what to do with our lives- but we just have to trust God instead and know that whatever we do it's His will anyway.

The first time I really remember 'discerning' anything was when I was 18 years old. "Discerning' means trying to figure out if a thing is what God wants you to do or not. When I was 18 years old, I really liked this girl named Sarah. And I wanted to know whether it was Gods will for me to date her or not. So I asked God for a sign.

Anybody ever see "Bruce Almighty"? "Bruce" is frusterated, and he's driving down the road, and he's praying, and he says to God "Give me a sign!" Just then a truck cuts him off with all these road signs in the back, reading "stop", "do not enter", "Yield". Instead of noticing that God was giving him a sign, Bruce goes "Oh what's this joker doing?" and he revs his sngine and goes around the truck.

I think it's funny that we ask God for signs. In the OT, this guy is trying to figure out what god wants him to do- so he puts out a fleece, (piece of sheep skin)and he says "If God wants me to do this, He'll make the fleece wet from dew in the morning, if he doesn't want me to do it the fleece will be dry".

What a weird way to make a decision! If someone came to me and said "I want to know if you think I should go to university, so to find out I'm gonna stick this piece of sheep skin outside." I'd be like "Great! If I want you to do it, I'll just piss on it, and then you'll know!"

Why do we ask God to do that? Why don't we just ask Him to tell us? I don't think it is God who has a communication problem- I think it's us. We don't listen very good!

So with Sarah. One night, I'm working up the guts to ask her out. We're at OLVC, sitting behind a cabin watching the stars and I say "You know, Sarah, I've liked you for a long time..."

Suddenly this shrieking owl comes out of no where and lands at our feet! And this thing is huge! It's about a meter tall, I swear, and it's 3 meters away! Then another one comes, and these two birds start scrapping! We watched this whole thing in stunned silence. The moment was totally ruined! We didn't finnish that conversation- we went to bed.

A couple of days later, Sarah and I were gonna try again. I was a team member, and I was on night patrol, so I told Sarah that I would meet her in the chapel when I was done. But the guys were unusually rowdy that night, and it took a long time to get them settled (Donegan...). By the time I got out, I made my way over to the chapel. The lights were off. I figured she'd probably gone to bed, but I would chack anyway.

However, above the door to the chapel is a little steeple with a cross on top. And there, sitting on the cross- a massive, shrieking owl! I couldn't believe it! The thing was just sitting there waiting to gouge some fools eyes out that dared to walk below it! So I went around to the side, and looked through a window, cause I was too scared to walk under the owl. I couldn't see Sarah, so I decided to just go to bed. Turned out she was in the chapel, and fell asleep, and spent the whole night in there!

That was at 11 year olds at Camp. I went home for 12 year olds, and was planning to come back for 13 year olds. In the meantime, I wanted to find out what kind of owls these things were. Now this was 10 years ago, so the internet was not as big a deal yet. Besides, waddya do, google "Monstrous Shrieking Owls"? So I looked it up in my moms "North American Wildlife Book." No good. Then I saw a "how to draw birds book". I flipped it open to the owls page, and it was the strangest thing. On the owls page, in pencil crayon, some kid had drawn not one, but two church steeples!

I swear the angels all had a good laugh about that and gave each other high fives or something.

But you know what? I dated her anyway. In fact, we dated for a year and a half! And, it was a good relationship! I still don't know if God was trying to tell me womething or not. The point is this. We treat God almost like He is superstitious concept. Does God give us little signs? Maybe. But I think he wants us to know him on a personal level. I think God wants us to mature past that point.

I had a friend who was convinced that god wanted her to date such n' such a guy. This guy, in turn, was convinced that he was supposed to be a priest. This girl would go on and on, lamenting how the will of God seemed clear! She'd say things like "Today, I was walking home, when all of a sudden, his dad drove by! It's a sign!" I was like "He lives in the neighborhood! It's not a sign!" Sure enough, she eventually married someone else, and he is still in the seminary studying for the priesthood.

So you know what? Rather than looking for all kinds of weird signs from God, try to get to know the person! That's what god wants! God's plan for you is not some arbitrary list of events! He wants you to be enriched, and he wants you to be loved, and he want5s you to learn how to love!

A year and a half after Sarah and I had started dating, I began to feel called to break up with her. Now I can't explain this feeling. There's was no owls, no sheep skin, no trucks full of road signs saying "Dumping permitted." I honestly didn't want to break it off. But we were begining to hinder one anothers growth towards God. She wanted to go to Bible school, and I didn't want to distract her from what God was calling her to do.

So one day, we're at this team meeting, and I'm in adoration, praying that I would have the courage to do Gods will. I felt like God was leading me to take her for a walk, and talk with her, and see what she thought. So I promised God that after adoration, i would find her, and I would do that.

Well, after adoration, I couldn't find her! I figured maybe she went to bed early! I thought 'wow! Must have just been my imagination! If she went to bed, i can't take her for a walk! Problem solved!'.

Then I saw her sitting with my friend Anita. I went over to talk to them, and on seeing me approach Anita said "Peter, I think you and Sarah need to go for a walk."

Darn.

So we went for a walk. I remember during that conversation feeling loike Abraham, when God called him to sacrifice Isaac- I didn't have to kill Sarah, but I did have to trust God and end a relationship that I did not want to end. And you know how at the last minute an angel appeared and was like "Here! Kill the goat instead!" I kept hoping an angel would appear and be like "here! Dump this goat!" But that didn't happen.

(For the record, I've never dated any goats. They don't share the same values. I'd be like "Merry Christmas!" and they'd be like "Baaa.")

But I trusted God, and I trusted that I had discened correctly, and so we broke up. Sarah said "Peter, I love you, but I love Jesus more. Let's do what He wants."

Here's the message here. There are two weird myths about what god wants you to do. One of them is that God always wants you to do the hardest thing. That's not true. God wants you to be happy, but He wants you to be fulfilled. He does not want your happiness to be fleeting and trivial, and so sometimes he will take a thing from you which you think will make you happy. Like a parent who does not let their child eat nothing but junkfood. The child thinks that will make them happy, but the parent knows better. God does want you to be happy, but He wants more than that for you. So when you're trying to digure out what God is saying to you, don't use the "do the hardest thing' aproach, and don't use the 'do the easiest thing' aproach either!

Now when I broke up with Sarah, even though the decision I was maing was kinda sad, God filled me with a kind of peace and joy. The saints know this as consolation. It is a kind of peace that the Bible says "Surpasses all understanding". It's like an upsurge of love. The opposite of this consolation is desolation. That's when you are unhappy, not at piece, desperately seeking a sollution.

The saints say that you should never make a decision in a time of desolation. That's because when you're all concerned about how badly everything is going, and filled with self pity, you are not able to listen properly to God. Have you ever tried to reason with somebody who is feeling sorry for themselves? It's impossible! They're having a little pity party, and they're not open to you! Well, we're the same way with God.

A few months after breaking up with Sarah, I ended up joining the seminary. By then I had it in my head that I wanted to be a saint, and the holiest thing i could do was to become a priest. That's not entirely true. While everyone here should be open to the possibility that God is calling them to the religious life- either as a priest or brother or as a nun- God sanctifies most people through the sacrament of marriage. I remember once saying to my Dad "the thing I like about being single is that I can do a great work of love anytime I want to!" You know, I was thinking go to africa and be a missionary or take someones place in a concentration camp like Maximillian Kolbe. My Dad said "Yeah, but when you're married, you have to do great acts of love when you don't want to."

Anyway, I figured I should at least give God a chance to make a priest out of me. So I visited the Companions of the Cross, a really cool communtiy of priests in Ottawa. While I was there I said to God "Ok, you have three days to convince me to become a priest."

My first day there, I was in Mass, and I said "God, whatever you want me to do with the next year of my life, I will do." The reading in Mass that day was "Go, sell everything bthat you have, and come follow me." I was like "Whoa..."

Now I didn't really have anything to sell that was worth anything, but what I noticed was that God was saying "Sell everything". I had told God I would give Him one year- but I realized He wasn't just asking for one year- He wanted the rest of my life! So, I gave that to Him.

The next day, I was starting to get pretty nervouse about the idea that maybe he actually was calling me. Now the thing most people are nervous about is the call to Chastity. To be single for the rest of your life. That didn't bother me so much. What got me was the call to obedience. By then I'd been living on my own with no curfew and stuff for a few years. Here I was considering joining a seminary where there was a curfew and a dress code and tons of rules.

I was lying in bed that night, thinking about how terrible it would be, and I said to God "God! I just wanna go where I wanna go when I wanna go there!"

Now, I was frusterated, but I figured lying in bed being frusterated wasn't going to help, so i would pray. Earlier that day a priest had told me to read John 21:15-19. So I flipped it open and started reading.

15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Now, I knew this passage. I thought it was pretty uncreative of the priest to give it to a guy discerning the priesthood. Especially a guy named Peter. But I read on:

16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
17The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
18Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

I was stunned. I had said to God "God, I wanna go where I wanna go." and He said "When you were younger you went where you wanted to go, but when you're older you're gonna go where you don't want to go." I realized that if I had really given God my life, then I was gonna have to give Him this too!

The next day was my last day there. I went to Mass, and before Mass I said "Ok God, seems like you want me to join the seminary. Here's the deal. I don't want to leave Calgary behind. I don't want to leave Alberta. I don't want to leave OLVC. And especially, I don't want to leave all my friends and family behind. I want you to address this in todays scriptures, and I will take that to mean you want me to join."

The day the reading was this. "Jesus said; "Anyone who leaves father or mother, brothers and sisters, for the sake of my name and for the gospel will recieve 100 fold.""

God had not only answered my prayer- He was being cocky. That day I decided to join the seminary.

Now, how did God speak to me? Through His word, through the Bible. Rememeber I said that when I was in Bible School I used to read the Bible like I was reading a textbook, learning ways to debate things with people. God is not interested in having us win debates. God wants us to learn how to love him. He wrote the book to communicate with us! So do you wanna be able to hear the Holy Spirit? Really? Read the Bible.

Now some people do this ridiculous thing I like to call "Bible Roulette." They take a Bible, ask God a question, and flip it open and see what it says! Like it's one of those 8 balls with the black liquid inside and a floating triangular prism with different answers. "What should I do with my life?" shake it up "All answers point to yes." With the Bible "What should I do with my life?" "Your hair is like a flock of goats moving down the slopes of Gilead. Your Belly is a heap of wheat."

I guess God's will is that I get a haircut and go on a diet!

You wouldn't do that with a book by Charles Dickens. "What is Dickens trying to communicate?" "Jacob Marley was dead to begin with. Deader than a doornail." I*f you want to understand the message, read it in context. Read the Bible, and you'll get to know what God is saying to the world. Better yet, pray to God, and read the Bible, and you'll get to know what God is saying to you!

The closer you get to God, the better you will be able to understand Him. After two years I felt led to leave the seminary- and I did. There were some little confirmations, but it wasn't as in your face as when I joined. But I was getting to know God, I was maturing as a Christian. Therefore, two things were happening. Just like a baby learning to walk, or a kid to ride a bike, God was letting go a bit, and letting me walk on my own. In time God called me to marry Catherine, the woman I am now engaged to. In some ways he let me choose it, without making it abundantly clear. But by faith in Him, I have confidence that it is His will.

Secondly, you get to know God better. Have you ever noticed that the more you know a person, the better you will be at knowing what they are thinking? You know what your parents are going to say when you're wondering if you should do something. Likewise with God. you get to know Him, and therefore you understand Him better. He weans you off of uncanny verses and shrieking owls.

Jesus made an anology of us that we are like sheep, following a shepherd. He said that we know the shepherds voice, and that is why we follow him. If we get to know Jesus, we will know his voice- we will know what He is trying to say to us.

Remember what I said before. Chances are, God does not even want you to know the whole plan ahead of time. It takes more faith and more love to follow God without a clear picture than knowing everything.

Now some people get frusterated because they say "I listen to God! I sit dead quiet, and tell God I'm listening, and He doesn't say anything!"

Think for a moment. God does not need to use words. We use words to convey a concept, an idea. Someone once asked Pierre Trudeau if he thought in English or in French. He said "I think in concepts." you know when you have an idea, but you just can't seem to articulate it? Words are how we communicate with each other, but they are limmitted. Often they don't express what we really want to say. I find this to be especially true with things like emotions, or profound thoughts- things that really matter!

God, on the other hand, does not need to use words. He can put the concept right into your brain! So why would He use words? Once you learn who God is, you will notice that there is a certain flavour to truth, or to the words coming from Him. In the movie the Passion, Pontious Pilate wrestles with thge idea of truth. He says to his wife "Do you recognize truth when you hear it?". It may sound arrogant if I say that I know the voice of God, but it's not by my own merits- it's not 'cause I am so holy or smart. I have learned to recognize it.

Now that said, it is silly to think that I may be right 100% of the time. While I can be confident that I am doing God's will, the prerequisite for hearing God is humility! If you lose sight of how broken and small you are, you will begin to mistake your own ideas for those of God!

Remember that God chooses to use other people. Maybe God will speak to you through your friends, your family. Maybe God has spoken to you through myself or another speaker. Whenever I do a talk I pray that god will speak through me. I don't know why God chooses to use people rather than just go the dirrect route- but I know that He does. He always has. Find some friends who are strong spiritually and who can help you to hear God. In the past, when I've made stupid decisions, I had the idea the whole time that my mature friends would think it was a mistake.

It's also a good idea to get a spiritual dirrector. That's someone who you can go to with things, and listen to their advice, and obey them! Remember how I said obedience was an issue for me in the seminary? Well if humility is a prerequisite for hearing God, obedience is a great way to learn humility! And, FYI, if any one thinks I got out of obedience by not becoming a priest, than your concept of marriage is quite innacurate!

So for a spiritual dirrector, try to get someone like a priest, your youth minister, an adult that you trust and who is spiritually strong. If someone asked me to be an SD, I would say no on the grounds that I do not yet believe that I am spiritually mature enough, but I'd be happy to give them advice!

Next, God is never gonna call you to do something that is sinful or against the Church or anything. If you think God is calling you to do something- like, say, to have sex outside of marriage- let me assure you that you are not yet in tune with the Holy Spirit. God has given us the Church to help us and to guide us, and we must obey it!

St Francis de Sales warns us about another danger. He says that Christians have this tendency to begin something good, then feel that god is calling them elsewhere, and so they move on, but don't finnish the first thing. This, he says, is a trick of the devil. The devil doesn't mind if you begin a lot of good works- provided you don't finnish them. If you discern that god has called you to do a thing, than be faithful to seeing that thing through!

In all your decisions, remember that the reason you exist is for the glory of God. St Ignatius of Antioch said "The Glory of God is Man fully alive." I used to work in a glass factory, driving a truck. the work was OK, but what I really wanted to do was youth ministry. I started praying about what I was called to do. My SD told me to do the thing that was life giving. I realized that the things which i find most life giving are (in no particular order) youth ministry, nature, prayer, and my fiance. So when I think about what God wants for me, and I think it's youth ministry, and my practical side says "You're engaged! There's no money in Youth Ministry!" I say "You know what? If this is truly what God is calling me to he'll take care of the details."

We all need to learn to trust God entirely with every detail of our lives. Our lives will be better guaranteed. I hope this rally will not have just been a good time with a lot of friends and a dance- My hope is that this rally will be a life altaring experience wherein you give yourself, your whole life, to God.

Close in prayer.